i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
why am i not the protagonist of an amazing story
you are though—its called your life
shut the fuck up i wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day
but those are your demons
i am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch ass comment you just made
puppies in sweaters hee hee hee
puppy in sweater hoo hoo hoo
puppies in sweaters ha ha ha
OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK
OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
OCTOBER IS TOMORROW
OCTOBER IS IN A FEW HOURS
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
Bonus points: Tell them you think it’s cute when they get so angry.
Extra credit: Tell them to “calm down.”